By: Kristina Karamo
We are always told that there is no love, like that between a mother and her child. Even amongst animals, we know the most dangerous animal is a mother with her baby. So it is an instinct to keep our child safe. Keeping our child safe gives us peace of mind and some satisfaction. But sometimes that satisfaction we feel keeping our child safe, turns into a selfish desire, and actually ruins them.
No mother likes to see their child upset, hurt, or angry. But sometimes those feelings are necessary, for their own growth and development. I have seen countless mothers rescue their children, from self induced and derserving consequaneces, boldly proclaiming that they are protecting their child. Protecting them from what? Pain? Displeasure? Failure? But aren’t these part and parcel of the human expereince? Don’t we all experience pain, regret, failure, disaapointment? So are you protecting them because you love them, or you’re own selfish desire, because it upsets you to watch your child in some sort of pain? That isn’t helping them, it’s runings them! Creating a situation where your child will struggle and won’t be able to fuction as an adult.
Sometimes the most loving thing a parent can do, is allow their child to fail, and face the consequences from the decisions they have made, sometimes allow them lose a hard faught battle. We all sometimes show mercy on our children, aren’t we grateful that God shows mercy on us. But many parents aren’t showing mercy ocassionally, they are crippling their child, because it satasifies their emtions to rescue their child from the growing pangs of life.
As parents it is our job, to prepare our children to be independent adults. Not just independent, but adults who are repsonsible and are mentally and emotionally healthy. That requires us to discipline them, hold them accountable when they get in trouble at school, teaching them how to accept losing and not getting their way. We are humans, so we have free will, self concious, unlike animals. So many times parents do everything they can to raise responsbile children, but they still rebel, and make a mess of their lives. But often times we as mothers and fathers too, get in the way of our child’s growth, because our own selfish desire to feel emotional satisfaction from recusing our child from the realities of life, destroying them in the process. It is through our challeges in life, that we grow stronger. If I lift a five pound weight everyday, will I get stronger?
I am mother, and sometimes, watching my munchkins cry hurts. I want to wipe away their tears, and do for them what they should be doing for themselves. However, if I want them to be strong, sucessful, and people who fear God, I sometimes have to sit back and let them feel pain.